The Fight
by Sunset-leaf
Summary: Addition to The Fight, Kathryn pays a late night visit to the Holodeck where Chakotay is still sparring with his demons over what happened in the episode. J/C.


With a soft colloquial nod towards each crew member who passed her by, Kathryn manoeuvred herself effortlessly around the maze of dimmed corridors that was the USS Voyager by night shift. Neelix had once suggested Kathryn would be able to find her way around blindfolded and although she'd never taken him up on his challenge, but she was secretly confident that he was right. Granted there were some of the lower decks that she was less familiar with, but there were certain places that Kathryn had walked to so many times that she often did it autopilot, allowing her thoughts to wander as she subconsciously made her way around. The Bridge was an obvious one, and then there was the Mess Hall, The Holodecks, The Cargo Bays and Seven's Alcove, Chakotay's Quarters; the latter of which, had worked it's way into her memory more out of personal interest rather than the sheer amount of time travelled there, but she would never admit that out loud.

The last couple of days had been interesting, to say the least. As a scientist, being stuck in part of space where the laws of physics literally meant nothing had proven somewhat of a discomforting challenge; yet even more discomforting had been seeing what the effect of being in Chaotic Space had been on Chakotay. Whilst she couldn't deny that he had saved the ship, the whole process would have been much easier for her to deal with if it had been herself with the faulty gene, rather than her First Officer. Still, it was over now, they were out, and it looked as though no long lasting damage had been done to Chakotay. The Doctor had cleared him for duty again, whatever little that did to ease her concerns. She couldn't get from her mind the look in his eyes not more than 24 hours ago, she'd never seen such a genuine fear in him before. It had taken a full body sweep, her fingers capturing his foot, his hand, his chest, to convince him to carry on with the attempt to make contact with the aliens. That was probably the part of this whole thing that she had least enjoyed - not the touching, she'd take any excuse to lay her hands on that warm red clothing - but pushing him to do it. Kathryn would gladly submit herself to any pains that would result in betterment for her ship and those within it, but it went against everything she had to force a member of her crew to make the same sacrifice.

Kathryn suddenly became aware of the fact that she had stopped moving and looked up to see the doors to the Holodeck where she had left Chakotay more than 2 hours ago. A simple check with the computer from her own quarters had confirmed her suspicions that Chakotay was still here, battling with his demons. The Captain within her told her to leave him alone and let him work through it for himself; but the Kathryn within her told her go to him and try to help him. There was also her own selfish desire to be with him, a feeling that stayed with her at all times but was unlimitedly heightened at times like this. She knew which part of her would win in the end, but that did little to silence the reams of protocols and advice that replayed over and over in her head, telling her to retreat and scurry back to her quarters.

Her fingers flitted silently across the control pad and gained access to the darkened room. She smiled as the sound of Boothby's voice, knocking away all thoughts of whether of not she should be here; she had obviously made her decision now, there was no longer a need for internal debating on the subject.

"Keep your left hand up, boy, you dropping it too low, you're giving him an easy advantage."

"I'm trying, he's too fast."

"You're too slow, keep up."

The door slid closed behind Kathryn and she realized she'd entered unnoticed. Taking advantage of that fact, she kept to the shadows and made her way around the ring to get a better view. A glistening sheen gripped Chakotay's face, and patches of sweat darkened the fabric of his clothes. He was visibly out of breath, and Boothby was right, he was dropping his left hand too much, but he was putting up a good fight. She resisted the urge to reveal herself and give him some pointers of her own and instead lurked even further back, watching him move around the ring.

It was both soothing to watch the punches roll back and fro, and irritating at the moments when Chakotay lapsed in judgement and his opposer managed to make contact. He was holding his own, and although not wiping the floor, he was comfortably the more able fighter in the ring. She couldn't hold back the smile that came to her lips at the sound of Chakotay managed to land a clean uppercut that send his opponent reeling back a few paces.

The fighting continued and Kathryn had no idea how long she'd been standing there when Chakotay finally paused the program with an air of satisfaction, and sat himself down in the corner of the ring and removed his gloves. Bringing a bottle to his lips she watched as he drank deeply before pouring some of it's contents over his face and clothes, in a bid to cool himself down. Not quite sure how to proceed she hovered, trying to think of the best way to alert him to her presence. It wasn't like she could hide now, as soon as he ended the program, he would see her standing there, no shadows to protect her.

Eventually, coming to some conclusion, she spoke softly from the shadows. "Boothby was right, you were dropping your left hand too much."

Chakotay startled, and his eyes darted in her direction. Putting away any showings of nervousness on her part, she stepped forwards out of the shadows and threw him a small smile.

Her favour was returned, but his voice was a little grimmer than she would have liked in his answer. "Why didn't you let me know you were there?"

Kathryn walked forwards enough so that she was stood at the edge of the ring and folded her arms neatly on the worn platform. "You were in the middle of a fight when I came in, and I didn't want to distract you."

There was a moments silence on his part as he looked her over, which Kathryn took as a sign that he was making a decision on how angry he was with her. Evidently he came to a favourable conclusion and his replier was in a somewhat warmer voice.

"Well what did you think?"

"I think that my First Officer just proved to me, that if Voyager ever decides to hold a Tag Team competition, I want him as my partner."

Chakotay's smile broadened and he dropped his gaze to his hands, readjusting the powdered bandages wrapped tightly around his palms. "Shouldn't you be sleeping at this time, Captain?"

"Shouldn't you?" Kathryn shot back.

Silence filled the ring again as Chakotay continued to fiddle with his hands and tilted his head in agreement.

"Chakotay - "

"What brings you to the Holodeck at this time of night, Kathryn?" He looked up and met her squarely in the eyes.

"I was worried about you," Kathryn answered, softer than the Captain in her would have usually allowed, "and I thought you might like someone to talk to about it."

She felt him study her for a while before bringing himself to his feet. He moved slowly across the ring towards her and she pushed herself off the ring slightly, not quite sure of his intentions.

Lowering a hand down towards her he smiled gently. "Come on, up you come."

She shot him a confused, slightly suspicious face and he laughed softly.

"If we're going to be tag team partners, you need some training."

Amusement flooded Kathryn's face, but she remained steady footed. "If you think you're going to get me up in that ring, you've got another thing coming."

"I dare you." Chakotay's eyes darkened with a playful desire and she found herself being drawn in. "Although if you don't think you've got it in you…"

Kathryn pulled herself back in against the ring and stared up at his smirking face. "Oh don't think that it's got anything to do with a fear of losing. I'd put up a good fight."

"Prove it."

There was a tussle of willpower, before Kathryn slowly raised her arm. Smiling he clasped her right hand in his left and pulled her gently onto the platform, sliding an arm around her waist at the last minute to help. Hands still held, he helped from all fours to standing before letting go to allow her to brush herself off. She waved the strands of hair that had fallen across her face back into place and Chakotay couldn't help grinning at her determined smile.

"Don't think this is going to be easy, Commander,"

Chakotay raised his hands in a mock gesture. "Didn't even cross my mind for a second."

Kathryn looked over to Boothby, still standing solid by his corner, and then up to the frozen image of the man Chakotay had been fighting earlier, still standing in the ring. "He doesn't exactly look any worse for wear," she mocked.

"Computer, remove all holographic characters from the room." The two figures disappeared and Chakotay and Kathryn were left alone in the ring. "Don't worry, I'll take it easy on you."

Kathryn stayed silent and allowed him to walk behind her reaching his arms around and lifting her hands in front of her face. She tightened them into fists as she felt his breath on her cheek.

"Raise you hands, like that, and yep, that's right, keep your thumbs on the outside. Move your left leg back a little, right legs forwards, get a nice balance." Chakotay moved with her as he helped her into a comfortable position, placing his hands on her hips and twisting them a little to give her a better angle.

"Better?" Kathryn asked, ignoring the niggling idea to deliberately fidget from the carefully constructed pose he had just placed her in.

Placing his hands on her shoulders, he spoke softly into her ear. "Better."

He moved back in front of her, relaxing into what was clearly a well practised stance, his hands raised. "Right, we'll take this steady. Try and hit me."

The boards underneath creaked a little as she adjusted her weight, before throwing a loosely aimed jab in his direction. He easily blocked it and grinned. "A little harder, don't worry about hurting me, I'm quick on my feet."

Bouncing slightly on her feet, she made a few small jabs, harder this time, each one connecting solidly with his forearms. She could see that he was enjoying this, watching her struggle to find a hole in his defence, and her hits became a little harder. He bobbed a couple of times to counteract her movements, but he misjudged a sudden change of pace from Kathryn and he felt her knuckles hard against the skin of his cheek.

Kathryn immediately dropped her hands and fell out of form. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get you that hard!"

"When have you boxed before?" he grinned, shaking his head a little from the impact.

"My father taught me a little when we were younger," she admitted, beginning to return to fighting position at seeing he was unhurt. "He thought it was good for his daughters to know some self defence."

"Clever man, your father."

"Thank you," she smiled, as they began to move around a bit, shifting quickly from foot to foot. They quickly got themselves into a rhythm, Chakotay giving her less of an easy ride than before. Kathryn was allowed to go for the face, hardly ever breaking his guard now that he was prepared, and he stayed to laying gentle taps to her shoulders and forearms. She knew he'd never had any intention of fighting with her properly, too chivalrous to ever think of challenging her to a true fight.

"Thank you," Kathryn spoke between breathes, her concentration unbroken.

"For what?" he answered, blocking her advance and shifting to his right.

"The last couple of days." When he didn't offer something in reply, she continued. "It took a lot of courage to what you did. I'm sorry that I had to ask you to do it."

He dodged another hit and threw one of his own, landing it softly on her upper arm. "There's nothing to be sorry about, you did what you had to do, I would have done the same thing."

"All the same, sorry." This time when Chakotay didn't speak, she remained quiet, only the sounds of deep breathing and collisions of skin against fabric rebounding from the walls of the holographic room. She gave as good as she could, he was experienced enough that she posed no threat to him. They fought like that for a while, each of them focusing on each others movements and their own thoughts.

After what seemed like an eternity, she spoke softly. "Chakotay -"

"Kathryn, you really have nothing to be sorry about."

"But all the same, I hate that I -"

"Kathryn." He went to pause and reached an arm to her shoulder, a movement which Kathryn misinterpreted as another punch and went to block. Confused by the fact he had lowered his other hand, she stalled mid-action and for a moment forgot about the placement of her feet.

Kathryn stumbled to the ground with a small yelp, Chakotay quick on her heels as he attempted to soften her fall. They landed as gently as he could make it, his body falling on top of hers and he saw her react to the fall and then look up at him. They both hesitated, eyes stilled locked, and he could feel her heartbeat pound against his own and the warmth of her thighs entangled with his own.

His mouth was so close to hers, their bodies having aligned so in sync when they fell; something that Kathryn was sure Chakotay had played a part in, even if only subconsciously. She let the moment play out, enjoying the feel of him so close against her, giving the small part of her for wished for this every minute of every day, to have it's time.

Finally the sound of protocols sung their way into her head and she heard him sigh as she made the inevitable move to get out from underneath him. Unwillingly or not, he moved with her, helping her to her feet, before once more looking her in the eye. She smiled and he knew their date was over; he waited for the excuse.

"I really should be going back now," she said, bringing a light hearted flair to things. "Not even coffee will be able to wake me up tomorrow if I don't get any sleep."

That had been the closest he had felt her too him for years, and he felt the familiar overpowering pull to not let the subject drop. Usually these feelings would subside if he bit his tongue and let him, but today, something felt different. Maybe it was his recent ordeal, with facing the possibility of losing his sanity, and who he was that was now pushing him to not let it go. Maybe it was just the five years was enough.

"No."

His answer startled her. "Chakotay?"

"No. You're not doing it again, you came here tonight. You made that decision, not me."

"Chakotay, don't -"

"Aren't you hearing me, Kathryn? No. I've had enough." He moved towards her and she backed away. He continued until her back was against the ropes and she could retreat no further.

"Chakotay, please don't -"

His body was once more pressed against hers and he lowered his mouth towards hers. "Tell me you don't want this."

"You know it's not that, Chakotay," she started, pushing against him.

"You can't have it both ways, you can't come to me in the middle of the night, wanting to comfort me and take away my pain and then disappearing again. You are my pain. Being with you, and yet not really being with you, outweighs any physical pain I may have suffered, do you understand that?"

Kathryn nodded, and placed a hand on his chest, unable to look him in the eye.

"No." He rose a hand to her cheek and lifted her head, forcing her to look at him.

Suddenly she felt his lips against hers. She had imagined this moment so many times, and she realized now that none of them had compared to this, the real thing. He pulled away from her and she felt his gaze on her.

"It can be in secret, it can be in public, any rules you want to lay done, but I'm done with this pretending, Kathryn. It's now or never, I'm in this for all or nothing. You decide."

She only had to search his eyes for a second to realize how serious he was. All the past debates she had had with herself came flooding back at once. Her head screamed with internal frustration, but one honest clear thought fronted them all. When faced with all or nothing, there really was no debate.

She nodded silently and his lips came crashing back down against hers.


End file.
